i need advice - Talk Parrots Forums

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:18 PM Thread Starter


 
ilovepets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 23
Posts: 1,148
Thanks: 35
Thanked 319 Times in 180 Posts
Rep Power: 15
         
i need advice

(sorry that this is long)ok here it goes: i have grown up with small animals ( guinea pigs, hamsters, cats, fish) and my friend has grown up with big animals (horses, dogs, cats- which she still has). in december she got 2 keets without a lot of begging for her parents, like i have to do. she doesn't like to look up facts about them or ways to bond with them or how to train them better. ok so she is good with cleaning the cage every day and blowing out the seeds and changing the water, but i see no real love towards them. yes, she does love them but she doesnt seem like she wants to bond with them. she has only taken them out twice, and that is when i came over. they will come onto your finger, and will come out with some millet but i would not call that tame, she does. the reason why she doesnt take them out by herself is because she has to cover the 'clutter' with a blanket and pin up a sheet over her door which she cant reach. recently she has been wanting a pied keet, which though she is my friend, i do not want her too. partly because i would be jealous- because she would have gotten it so easily and i cant-, partly because i see me as the small animal person and her as the big animal person, and partly because i dont think she takes good enough care of the ones she has now. i dont think she realizes that i am not thrilled about the thought. she i breeding her horse this spring and i am 100% behind her on that because she i good -edit: great- with big animals. so what i am asking is that: how can i convince her not to be tempted to get one?
-and my friend if you do find this, the truth is stretched a tiny bit in my eyes. i want the attention on the horses rather than a bird that wont seem to have as much love as you horses. i want the best for all animals -

Leon Butch Baby Bird Pickles Bowie Bobby Leo Ace Cheerio
for my other pets: cat, rabbit, 6 fish tanks, 2 fire belly newts, 2 african dwarf frogs, 22+ crayfish, fish
ilovepets is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Abby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 5,750
Thanks: 734
Thanked 474 Times in 379 Posts
Rep Power: 43
                     
Firstly, I think I'm going to move this to the chat section as it is a bit off-topic. Not that you aren't allowed to post things like this! You are more than welcome to.

I see a lot of jealousy here. It's normal to be jealous! I can totally see why. If I'm not mistaken, you've grown up always sticking with that "she's got big pets and I've got little pets" and you have always been the bird person. Suddenly, she's got birds and she wants more birds and she's probably gonna get more birds.

If I were you, I'd simply show her how to correctly care for her birds and try not to put her down too much for suddenly getting birds. Try to keep the birds' interests in mind. If they were yours, how would you care for them, and try to show your friend how to do the same. Make that your goal, and try ignore the fact that life isn't always fair. The truth is, she's just as able and welcome to have birds as you are. You can't really change that.

If you want to, tell her how you feel. But don't be mad at her for still wanting the bird, or getting the bird. I think you really do care about your friend, you just have mixed feelings about it all.

Hope this helped a bit.




DIGBY 4-year-old male Congo African Grey
Abby is offline  
post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:54 PM



 
catalinadee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 17,637
Thanks: 1,593
Thanked 2,007 Times in 1,575 Posts
Rep Power: 100
                     
I agree with Abby! You should teach her how to properly care for her birds without insulting her in any way and maybe she'll take care of them better. You could make your own little sheets for her to read so she doesn't have to go out and research it. In fact, I'd be happy to make some and send them to you if you wanted Jealousy is very common. I get real mad sometimes because I want so many different kinds of birds, yet the only birds I can really handle are the two conures and one cockatiel. Only one of those three was hand raised don't get me wrong, I ADORE my birds, but if it wasn't for me living her I'd have a lot more. It may seem over the top to some people, but I know for a fact I will buy a hyacinth macaw when I can. I'm going to start saving my money and putting some aside when I move out, and once everything is payed off I will get my hyacinth. I don't know why I want one so bad. But I will get one. I know so many people get jealous of me having Chalkie and Axel when to me it's just every day stuff! I'm really really hoping that I can get my Chalkie over to FL with me and figuring something out, I can't be without him, but I can't let him hold me back from moving so I am very determined to get him overseas. Anyways, back to the point! If you teach her how to handle them properly, feed them properly etc etc then you know they will be enjoying their life a little more. And you yourself will be rewarded. Maybe you could visit her like once a week just as a friend going over, but also keep a close eye on the budgies? When my nan worked at another care home, they had budgies in the lounge upstairs and downstairs. They never got cleaned out, literally never. The staff were too 'scared' of them! I started going weekly and making sure they'd get fresh food and water and they would get a really good clean. I'd let them fly around in a small room to get exercise too I know you can change the way she cares for them, but you have to get it into her head that just because they're not quite horse sized it doesn't mean they can just be treated how she thinks is right. They're just as big of a responsiblity!

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
catalinadee is offline  
 
post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 04:56 PM
 
Abby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 5,750
Thanks: 734
Thanked 474 Times in 379 Posts
Rep Power: 43
                     
Nice post, Daisy!
And about the Hyacinth thing, I had a dream that I got a Hyacinth for free. It was so amazing. I really, really, really want one! I'm considering starting to save for one already.




DIGBY 4-year-old male Congo African Grey
Abby is offline  
post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 05:15 PM


 
katew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: south coast UK
Posts: 2,789
Thanks: 68
Thanked 107 Times in 93 Posts
Rep Power: 24
               
Yeah, I agree guys.
I'm jealous of ALL Daisys birds!
Help her care for them.
Buy her a chain or beaded ribbon curtain for her doorway so she doesnt have to pin a blanket up.
Maybe then she'll let them out more.
Then you can spend more time with her and birds and help her along with them
Win win situation.

x2x3

Please like me on Facebook Kamelina-Kreations
Kamelinajewelery.wix.com/kamelina-kreations
katew is offline  
post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 05:18 PM


 
jodeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Arnold, MO
Age: 74
Posts: 1,997
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 30
                     
Great answers Abby and Daisy! I agree totally!

JoAnne, Libby (2/10),Angelina (12/07), and Charley (11/10)
Also owned by Essie,Minnie & Oscar
jodeg is offline  
post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 05:25 PM



 
catalinadee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 17,637
Thanks: 1,593
Thanked 2,007 Times in 1,575 Posts
Rep Power: 100
                     
I think it's best to start with another macaw though, hence why I'm saving up for one now. I'm putting off the triple cage until I get my macaw, because right now it's the main thing I want. I think I'm getting a green wing from the breeder of the one in my avatar, but I'm not sure. I'm really stuck between a green wing (most like a hyacinth), a blue and gold or a scarlet

Thank you! I didn't think people would be jealous of my flock I guess I don't see it as that big at all because I only consider the hands on birds to be well, hands on, the other birds are only really to look at. Don't get me wrong! I love having them, and they're delightful, and I'd love them all in the house if I could. I'd have any hands off bird and keep it. I just see them all much happier being outside as one big flock though!

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
catalinadee is offline  
post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 05:43 PM Thread Starter


 
ilovepets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 23
Posts: 1,148
Thanks: 35
Thanked 319 Times in 180 Posts
Rep Power: 15
         
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby View Post
Firstly, I think I'm going to move this to the chat section as it is a bit off-topic. Not that you aren't allowed to post things like this! You are more than welcome to.

I see a lot of jealousy here. It's normal to be jealous! I can totally see why. If I'm not mistaken, you've grown up always sticking with that "she's got big pets and I've got little pets" and you have always been the bird person. Suddenly, she's got birds and she wants more birds and she's probably gonna get more birds.

If I were you, I'd simply show her how to correctly care for her birds and try not to put her down too much for suddenly getting birds. Try to keep the birds' interests in mind. If they were yours, how would you care for them, and try to show your friend how to do the same. Make that your goal, and try ignore the fact that life isn't always fair. The truth is, she's just as able and welcome to have birds as you are. You can't really change that.

If you want to, tell her how you feel. But don't be mad at her for still wanting the bird, or getting the bird. I think you really do care about your friend, you just have mixed feelings about it all.

Hope this helped a bit.
i think you are taking it the wrong way. I am not jealous of her 'big animals'. i would love to have a horse but i know i could never afford it. so i am just grateful that i have a friend with horses. i do try and show her what i do but she just doesn't seem as interested to do it herself. i just feel that if she got another bird, all of the birds would not be well trained because she doesnt seem to have the enthusiasm to do it (and i have tried to tell her ti train with them more). i guess you could say she is not the bird kind of person. i have more to say, but i cant think of it at the moment . to put it into %: i would say i am only 10% jealous, 90% 'she doesn't spend enough time with them'

Leon Butch Baby Bird Pickles Bowie Bobby Leo Ace Cheerio
for my other pets: cat, rabbit, 6 fish tanks, 2 fire belly newts, 2 african dwarf frogs, 22+ crayfish, fish
ilovepets is offline  
post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 06:23 PM
 
AnimalLuver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Edmonton, AB, Canada
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 18
             
I think I see both points know
I know these people who had 2 budgies, a male and female and one died (male) so the female is so lonely and sad, YET they don't even bother to care for her and leave her to just stay in the cage. They didn't even know what kind of bird they had until I told them (they thought they owned LOVEBIRDS!) They don't know a single penny about budgies (or birds all together) and they've only let the budgies out twice in 3 years
It saddens me, I even offered to take her in and give her the home she deserves and was willing to pay money but the keep refusing, saying that they like the her as a "decoration" :'(

Best thing is to teach your friend how to care for a bird, and in the end they are her birds so she can decide and if she finds out that she can't handle it then she will most likely come to you for help

Missing you always


AnimalLuver is offline  
post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 07:43 PM Thread Starter


 
ilovepets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 23
Posts: 1,148
Thanks: 35
Thanked 319 Times in 180 Posts
Rep Power: 15
         
well another thing that bothers me is the space for a quarantine cage. her room is SMALL and dont you have to have the new bird in another room for quarantine?. oh yeah the dogs and cat would love to look at the little birdy. thanks Shivani for understanding. i just dont want her to get another bird or ever have the thought (i know that sounds mean but...). once she breeds her horse and her foal is born- where is she going to be? in the barn. i have told her that that is going to happen.... it really tears my heart apart...
i will re post in the future of what happens

Leon Butch Baby Bird Pickles Bowie Bobby Leo Ace Cheerio
for my other pets: cat, rabbit, 6 fish tanks, 2 fire belly newts, 2 african dwarf frogs, 22+ crayfish, fish
ilovepets is offline  
post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2012, 09:41 PM
 
thepennywhistle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 151
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 10
     
You can try to guide her, and I know you will because you want the best for all creatures, but if she doesn't feel it...well, then she doesn't. Little budgies are cute. They are there for her to play with when she wants, and when she doesn't, they're no trouble in their cage. Is that her view? I don't hear the commitment to the birds or the empathy for what the birds might feel or need.

I think that is what is separating the two of you as bird owners. You would do anything to make the world right for your birds, and to her they're just birds. Your birds are so fortunate to have you as their person.

Who knows? If she does breed her mare and move into the stable, perhaps she would be willing to park her birds with you then, and you can give them a better life. It's the best possibility I can see from what I understand of your post.

Course, I could be misunderstanding again

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.
And never regret anything that made you smile

Last edited by thepennywhistle; 02-06-2012 at 09:45 PM.
thepennywhistle is offline  
post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 04:55 AM



 
catalinadee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 17,637
Thanks: 1,593
Thanked 2,007 Times in 1,575 Posts
Rep Power: 100
                     
She shouldn't be doing quarantine in the same room as her budgies anyways otherwise it misses the point so either way the bird has to be elsewhere

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
catalinadee is offline  
post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 10:49 AM
 
Jenny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Bellingham, WA
Posts: 3,838
Thanks: 194
Thanked 130 Times in 103 Posts
Rep Power: 44
                     
Send a message via AIM to Jenny
Try to positively guide her - make it as positive, enjoyable, etc. The more fun you make it seem, the less you push, the better or she may think you're being nosy. If you're worried about her birds not getting attention when the foal is born, then perhaps encourage her to get 2 more budgies in their own cage, or maybe upgrade the cage for her budgies to something bigger (a flight cage) and tell her she can then put another pair, maybe even 4 more birds in it. Getting one more single budgie is unfair to that budgie - he won't have another budgie friend and if she introduces him/her to the other 2, they will probably bully him/her and the single bird will be the odd man out.

If the bird has a friend of the same species, toys, good food, and fresh water then it's not so bad - I know we all want our birds to have the ideal life with loads of enrichment, human contact, out of cage time, etc. But for some that's not feasible and some just don't see birds that way, they are more hands-off pets.

I know I may sound harsh or negative, but I'm trying to play devil's advocate and show the flip side as well. Having worked for many years in the pet industry, you learn to appreciate those who will at least give their birds good quality care, if not the ideal quality of life. Really, if they are in a cage where they can get enough exercise, they are getting good food, fresh water, and have eachother for companionship, it's really not that bad that they don't get human interaction.

They are birds, not humans, as much as we empathize and put human characteristics on them, something we are all guilty of Many prefer contact with another bird rather than humans. and if they are not hand-raised, then they know other birds as their primary friends and companions. Humans are fun, but kind of scary, and they'd prefer to be with someone who speaks their own language and can interact with them in ways only another bird can. That's why so many people keep their birds in pairs, even at the sacrifice of their 'tame-ness.' I did that with my linnies, Mizu chiefly, because she liked to interact with me but was so hand's off I wanted her to have a friend to snuggle with, preen, and really bond with. They get some out of cage time, but no real direct interaction with me. They frankly don't want it Both were hand-raised, but were both introduced to another linnie at a very young age and much prefer one another's company over mine. They will eat snacks out of my hand and Loki will talk with me, but that's about as far as it goes. And that's just fine with me - they have a huge cage, they get great food, clean water and are in the peak of health.

I hope all that makes sense. Just try to guide your friend in the most positive way and remember - if the birds are healthy and have a friend, then they are happy and will be OK without her direct attention or interaction. I would encourage her, like I said, to focus on maybe getting another pair of budgies or encourage her on the importance of rotating toys, foraging, etc so that even when she can't play with her birds they can entertain themselves and will still have a lot of fun



Jenny is offline  
post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-07-2012, 04:33 PM Thread Starter


 
ilovepets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 23
Posts: 1,148
Thanks: 35
Thanked 319 Times in 180 Posts
Rep Power: 15
         
Quote:
Originally Posted by thepennywhistle View Post
I think that is what is separating the two of you as bird owners. You would do anything to make the world right for your birds, and to her they're just birds. Your birds are so fortunate to have you as their person.

Who knows? If she does breed her mare and move into the stable, perhaps she would be willing to park her birds with you then, and you can give them a better life.
well this is going back to the raised with big animals/ raised with small animals. i think because she was raised w/ big animals she would do/ get anything for her horse. but she doesnt seem to be that way with the birds. and when she does get stuff for them she might get things that are not as appropriate like one of those 'branch perches' that doesnt fit well in her cage. another thing that tore me apart is that she everything on the same day as she got the birds- without making 2 trips to set up the cage! i was 'smiling' but in my head i was crying! i mean would you get a horse then build the barn and get hay? NO....and like i think jenny was saying, yes some people just keep them in the cage and others train them. but she barely trained them and hasnt bonded with them and thinks she is done . either train/bond with them or keep them in! agh it makes me mad.
about the quote with her moving in to the stables- she has her horses at home.
**she did not say anything today and yesterday is was just a thought-**

Leon Butch Baby Bird Pickles Bowie Bobby Leo Ace Cheerio
for my other pets: cat, rabbit, 6 fish tanks, 2 fire belly newts, 2 african dwarf frogs, 22+ crayfish, fish
ilovepets is offline  
Closed Thread

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Talk Parrots Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome