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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:25 PM Thread Starter


 
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I need to rant..

I'm going to warn you guys ahead of time that this post might be a bit long and random and contain a lot of rambling.

To start off I'll give you a bit of a back story.
November 1st my Fiance, our son, and I moved from BC to Alberta (one Province away from each other) when Mason was only 2 months old. The reason we moved was because Mike is in the Military (Army) and he switched from the Reserves (part-time) to the Regular Force (full-time) because we needed the increased salary that would come with it (for obvious reasons).
The only family that I have in Edmonton is my Aunt, Uncle, and 3 Cousins whom I don't really see all too often. I like them, it's just they live 25 minutes drive away. Mike on the other hand has basically his whole dad's side of the family here even though he doesn't really keep in touch with them.

So on to my "rant".

Since moving to Edmonton I have met a few people but I'm reluctant to make friends because I won't be able to do much or go out much with them anyways because of my son. I'm nursing Mason exclusively right now (although on Tuesday we started giving him Rice Cereal) so wherever I go, he goes. Since my son has to go everywhere with me pretty much I am VERY limited in the places I can go.
Another thing that sucks other than knowing practically no one here is the fact that I don't have much time to myself anymore except after Mason goes to bed at night. The weather doesn't help either with snow and ice on the ground because then you're limited by that as well to what you can do outside.

I'm just seriously feeling REALLY homesick right now and am wishing I was back in BC. At least THEN I'd be near my friends and my family. Don't get me wrong, I love Edmonton and it has so much to offer but I miss BC so much. I hate being away from my family.

I feel like I have no life right now except for being a mom. I mean, I LOVE being a mom, it's so rewarding, but I want a life at the same time!!

I'm not so social in the first place (I'd rather have a few REALLY good friends rather than a bunch of aquaintances) but this sucks.

All I do every day is take care of Mason, go on the computer, MAYBE go out to get coffee or get groceries or pick up something for the pets. Me and Mike watch a lot of stuff on Netflix and play videos games but seriously, my brain is MELTING because of not being used! I'm worried that by the time I DO go back to school (to be an Animal Health Tech.) that my brain will have melted away and I won't be able to learn anymore, lol.

Ugh, I just wish I could at least go back to BC for a few weeks to visit and "refresh".

I wish I had more to keep me occupied.

Blah, sorry if my horrible mood rubs off on any of you...



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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:40 PM
 
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Coming from someone who has a kid and a step kid. I never get out. Everything I do is online. The place I live in I hate so much prolly why I suffer from server depression. I miss my old house. Everything in this house is old and everything breaks. I barely even go outside only go out to check the mail and let out my chickens. I know how you feel.

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:42 PM Thread Starter


 
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Ugh, it SUCKS! I would go out more but stuff I want to do is quite a ways away for driving through the city.
This is probably why I like to surround myself with animals...



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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:45 PM


 
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I am a 52 yr old who moved away from my family friends and country 5 years ago to marry a man 1600 miles away... all my family except for one son is back home in Canada... I am in the States... I am very fortunate to have a hubby who loves me and I love him... I also am very lucky to have his family who I fit right in with and have been accepted the same as if I have been born to them... however I still miss my friends and family back home... I miss my kids and grandkids and my elderly Mom and Dad.. I understand exactly how you feel... I hope it all gets easier for you soon....
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:48 PM Thread Starter


 
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Thank-you.
I just am not used to being away from family like this. I didn't even move out of my parent's house until July 2011 and now I'm living a Province away!
It would be easier if I had more support here but I don't. My Fiance is wonderful but he's starting to get sick of the fact that I can't go out and do stuff by myself...



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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 10:48 PM


 
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I hear you Kayla, I don't have have any kids, but I'm completly traped at home for different reasons, I only leave the house/property once a month. I can go outside of the house though, no snow outside right now. I would also rather have few friends , but my best and only friend lives 8 hours away, we talk and text, but I haven't seen her in years. I'm sorry your home sick and you miss your family, you must have good family .
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-18-2012, 11:41 PM Thread Starter


 
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I love my family, they're awsome.

Although, I'm feeling really depressed right now.



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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 12:07 AM


 
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 01:56 AM


 
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Im so sorry kayla

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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 02:49 AM


 
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Kayla, over here we have breastfeeding groups.
Can you look on line for a local one?
I sympathise as I was ill when I had my son.
Hardly left home.
But I found mum and baby groups and baby nursing group.
I met a lot of new friends.
One of them is now one if my best friends.
Is there a swimming pool near you? Do they have baby swim sessions?
What about baby massage classes?
I had to really push myself to get out there,
But I'm so glad I did.
And its so much easier to talk to others as you have babies in common.

x2x3

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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 01:27 PM



 
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I suffer with very very bad anxiety. This literally stops me from doing just about anything. I can't use public transport, because I almost pass out, or throw up. I can't learn to drive yet because I would be much much too nervous. I haven't gone to college in over three weeks now (one was this week, and that was a holiday, so technically only 2 weeks). I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. It gets me down immensly though. I just want to go out and have fun with friends. I can't even go to other peoples houses cause I'm terrified of being sick. I'm hoping to get over it soon. I had it for many years and kicked its butt right into the ground for a few months when I first met Jack but recently I had a fight after getting off a bus and it's really worried me about leaving the house. Since then it has come back with a vengeance. The only time I'm ever comfortable is at work. Being a bird trainer is what I do and it makes me happy. Having the birds around me kind of puts my mind at ease. So every day I work there I feel much better. Being as it was the holiday this week I had a lot of people coming up to me and asking questions. I wanted to run and hide but I stuck to it and helped people out loads, to find birds around the center and generally answer any questions. My favourite questions are things like "do these birds fly? like do they fly on a string or something?" and I'm sat there like errrm, no? they fly free... and they're like OH MY GOSH! every single day is a huge struggle for me. The sooner college is over the better and I can work full time then doing something I enjoy and hopefully getting over my fears of leaving the house. I also don't leave because Britain is becoming a terrifying place....

It will pass soon, everybody feels homesick, even if it is only for one night! It can still be very horrible. You will make new friends, Kates suggestions of a baby group are awesome too! That would help you out loads. It is hard, but on the plus side you've got to remember that you've got a husband who loves you, a beautiful son, Hermes and your cats! Give it a few years, and you will have much much much more of a life

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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 01:28 PM Thread Starter


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShannonH1984 View Post
I'm sorry
Quote:
Originally Posted by solo View Post
Im so sorry kayla
Thank-you guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by katew View Post
Kayla, over here we have breastfeeding groups.
Can you look on line for a local one?
I sympathise as I was ill when I had my son.
Hardly left home.
But I found mum and baby groups and baby nursing group.
I met a lot of new friends.
One of them is now one if my best friends.
Is there a swimming pool near you? Do they have baby swim sessions?
What about baby massage classes?
I had to really push myself to get out there,
But I'm so glad I did.
And its so much easier to talk to others as you have babies in common.
I'm actually currently in swim lessons with Mason but most of the other moms are older (like 30s and up... not saying that's old but it's older than me, lol). It also seems like most moms are just totally into being moms after they have a kid. They don't seem to want to do things that I still want to do like go out drinking once in a while, or go to a concert, or do stuff you can't do when you bring a child along.



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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 03:58 PM


 
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my friend is only 23,
she had her kid at 17.
Lots of people have a downer on her.
she told me it was hard doing mum and tots.
I had my 1st at 31 so I'd done my crazy stuff.
Can you get a sitter? are there other military wives near your age around?
I never get out anymore. it's rubbish!
After all you're still you not just somebodies mum.
Us 30 somethings are known to be boring at times,
What about the other bird Keepers on here in Edmonton?
That thing once a month, bird club?
Is there a reptile club?
My husband wanted to move near London for a job.
I threw a fit! my whole life is here, my friends, the kids stuff!
So I can imagine what your going through.
When I moved here I knew no one.
I'm only 30 minutes from my mum though.
I hope you find something and life gets better.
lonelyness is rubbish too!

x2x3

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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-19-2012, 11:34 PM Thread Starter


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catalinadee View Post
I suffer with very very bad anxiety. This literally stops me from doing just about anything. I can't use public transport, because I almost pass out, or throw up. I can't learn to drive yet because I would be much much too nervous. I haven't gone to college in over three weeks now (one was this week, and that was a holiday, so technically only 2 weeks). I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. It gets me down immensly though. I just want to go out and have fun with friends. I can't even go to other peoples houses cause I'm terrified of being sick. I'm hoping to get over it soon. I had it for many years and kicked its butt right into the ground for a few months when I first met Jack but recently I had a fight after getting off a bus and it's really worried me about leaving the house. Since then it has come back with a vengeance. The only time I'm ever comfortable is at work. Being a bird trainer is what I do and it makes me happy. Having the birds around me kind of puts my mind at ease. So every day I work there I feel much better. Being as it was the holiday this week I had a lot of people coming up to me and asking questions. I wanted to run and hide but I stuck to it and helped people out loads, to find birds around the center and generally answer any questions. My favourite questions are things like "do these birds fly? like do they fly on a string or something?" and I'm sat there like errrm, no? they fly free... and they're like OH MY GOSH! every single day is a huge struggle for me. The sooner college is over the better and I can work full time then doing something I enjoy and hopefully getting over my fears of leaving the house. I also don't leave because Britain is becoming a terrifying place....

It will pass soon, everybody feels homesick, even if it is only for one night! It can still be very horrible. You will make new friends, Kates suggestions of a baby group are awesome too! That would help you out loads. It is hard, but on the plus side you've got to remember that you've got a husband who loves you, a beautiful son, Hermes and your cats! Give it a few years, and you will have much much much more of a life
Thanks for the encouragment! I hope you can work your way through your anxiety, that's not got to be fun!

Quote:
Originally Posted by katew View Post
my friend is only 23,
she had her kid at 17.
Lots of people have a downer on her.
she told me it was hard doing mum and tots.
I had my 1st at 31 so I'd done my crazy stuff.
Can you get a sitter? are there other military wives near your age around?
I never get out anymore. it's rubbish!
After all you're still you not just somebodies mum.
Us 30 somethings are known to be boring at times,
What about the other bird Keepers on here in Edmonton?
That thing once a month, bird club?
Is there a reptile club?
My husband wanted to move near London for a job.
I threw a fit! my whole life is here, my friends, the kids stuff!
So I can imagine what your going through.
When I moved here I knew no one.
I'm only 30 minutes from my mum though.
I hope you find something and life gets better.
lonelyness is rubbish too!
My Aunt could babysit but she lives 25 minutes drive away through the city and she has so far always expected me to bring Mason to her instead of her come to us.
As for Military wives, there ARE some around that are my age. I've met one but she has two kids, is 22, and is already in that "mom mode" where she doesn't seem to do anything without her kids...
I do want to meet others though.
Oh and I know, my whole identity isn't being a mom now. Even though I love my son he isn't my WHOLE life (as much as most moms say this, it's not and shouldn't be true...).
The good thing, is that I'm going to the Pet Parrot Association meeting this month as well as the Edmonton Reptile and Amphibian Society's meeting. I'm super excited, hopefully I'll meet some nice people.
Being lonely IS rubbish, at least I have my hubby. He is on parental leave until about June or July which is awsome.



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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 12:20 AM


 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catalinadee View Post
I suffer with very very bad anxiety. This literally stops me from doing just about anything. I can't use public transport, because I almost pass out, or throw up. I can't learn to drive yet because I would be much much too nervous. I haven't gone to college in over three weeks now (one was this week, and that was a holiday, so technically only 2 weeks). I HATE being outside of my comfort zone. It gets me down immensly though. I just want to go out and have fun with friends. I can't even go to other peoples houses cause I'm terrified of being sick. I'm hoping to get over it soon. I had it for many years and kicked its butt right into the ground for a few months when I first met Jack but recently I had a fight after getting off a bus and it's really worried me about leaving the house. Since then it has come back with a vengeance. The only time I'm ever comfortable is at work. Being a bird trainer is what I do and it makes me happy. Having the birds around me kind of puts my mind at ease. So every day I work there I feel much better. Being as it was the holiday this week I had a lot of people coming up to me and asking questions. I wanted to run and hide but I stuck to it and helped people out loads, to find birds around the center and generally answer any questions. My favourite questions are things like "do these birds fly? like do they fly on a string or something?" and I'm sat there like errrm, no? they fly free... and they're like OH MY GOSH! every single day is a huge struggle for me. The sooner college is over the better and I can work full time then doing something I enjoy and hopefully getting over my fears of leaving the house. I also don't leave because Britain is becoming a terrifying place....

It will pass soon, everybody feels homesick, even if it is only for one night! It can still be very horrible. You will make new friends, Kates suggestions of a baby group are awesome too! That would help you out loads. It is hard, but on the plus side you've got to remember that you've got a husband who loves you, a beautiful son, Hermes and your cats! Give it a few years, and you will have much much much more of a life
I can understand alot of this too, you poor thing, .

I know its hard for a lot of people right now, try to hang in there everybody, things have got to get better for all of us.
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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 12:43 AM Thread Starter


 
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Agreed Shannon, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel a lot better today although I'm still feeling homesick and such.



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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 01:01 AM


 
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Agreed Shannon, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel a lot better today although I'm still feeling homesick and such.
Thats what I kept trying to tell myself .
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 04:55 PM
 
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I'm sorry, but things will get a lot better 9 days until the EPPA meeting, lots of nice people there
Have you tried taking up a hobby? Maybe you could go to the library new mom days or such? That would keep mason busy with other kids and you could make friends your age!
http://www.epl.ca/interests/preschool/babies

Mom groups
http://moms.meetup.com/cities/ca/ab/edmonton/

Hope your feeling better!

Missing you always


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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 05:00 PM Thread Starter


 
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I have hobbies that I like to do it's just I haven't been doing them lately, LOL.
One thing I love doing is reading but I only have MAYbe 2 hours inbetween feeding him where I can read (most of the time less than that) and that's not enough with a good book. :P
I dunno, I just don't feel the urge to do things I used to love.



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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 02-20-2012, 05:24 PM


 
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Maybe you have somthing similar to me, I'm kinda burnedout on life right now, its just hard to even function anymore and frustration with the situation.

And on a side note, why does everybody think they have the right to tell me how to live on my own property. Sorry having a really bad day.
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