I cannot believe I'm already making this post.......
Minnie, my cockatiel that was not even two years old, passed away today around five PM.
To be honest and blunt with you, it was completely awful.
I came home to find her standing on the bottom of the cage against the corner. She's there often, so I didn't think anything strange of it. But when I put fresh water and food in her cage (which she shares with Kiki) she did not move. I touched her and she fell over. She was still alive, she literally could not keep herself standing up. I freaked out and started balling my eyes out, literally screaming for help, even though I was home alone. I took her out of the cage and tried to get her to drink. Every now and then she would open her eyes, but she wouldn't move. She was barely breathing. I was hyperventalating, I had no idea what to do. She was fine yesterday, I didn't know what was up. I thought she might be dehydrated (although I'm not sure why, unless Kiki wasn't letting her drink from the dish they were sharing or something) I brought her upstairs and tried to get drops of water in her mouth, holding her in a towel. I was a panicky mess. I could not believe this was happening, and I still am in complete shock. I Googled some things while I stroked her and talked to her and told her she'd be OK and tried to get water to her. My mind was going crazy, I couldn't think straight and I didn't find anything helpful. I tried calling my Mom at work, and then realized that the day before she dropped her cell phone in her tea and it no longer works, so she had no phone. I couldn't even remember where she worked to get a number. (It's a new job.) I held her and continued talking and crying and trying to give her water. At one point she finally moved and distorted her body and it looked like she wanted water or something, but then she was still again. Every now and then she would move her body suddenly and weirdly, keep her dialated eyes open for a little bit and then get still again.
Finally, after an hour or two, my Mom pulled in and I sprinted out and tried to explain what was going on but I still couldn't think straight. She called our vet. They had no one in today that sees birds. She finally found a vet office which a vet who had previously treated birds, and rushed there (I was barefoot) and gave them Minnie, who had been very still.
But by the time we got there, she apparantly was already gone. We waited in a little room for the vet to come tell us. He said she probably had been sick for a while, something completely hidden from us, and even if we got her in a few days ago they wouldn't have been able to do anything. We explained her healthy diet and previous vet visits (well, at least my Mom did. I couldn't talk.) but he said he thought she seemed a bit thin, so whatever she was sick with had been causing weight loss. He asked me if I wanted to take her back with me, but I couldn't look at her anymore. He seemed really sorry, and he said they'd bury her at a pet cemetary for no cost, and so we left.
I've been so confused and upset. It was so sudden. I would never have expected her to leave me like this. At least I spent her last hour or two holding her and petting her. I got to see her eyes and feel her beautiful white feathers for a little longer. I'll sure miss my baby....
It's a sunny day. I bet she's out flying free and free from this pain I didn't know she was having, at least not until now.
God I'll miss her...
I love you, Minnie. I'll never forget you.