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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 04:15 AM Thread Starter



 
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We lost a huge part of our family

I was getting ready to leave for my tattoo appointment when I realised it was Candy's 12th birthday and I thought I would give her lots of love and take a photo of her so I could share it with everybody on Facebook. She got lots of likes, everybody we knew loved her so that didn't come as a surprise. She was beginning to age rapidly, struggling to run like she used to and sleeping more etc. Usual signs of an ageing dog. After lots of hugs and loving I said goodbye and I left for my appointment. This was the photo I took of her on her 12th birthday in the morning



I came home and sat at my laptop. Over the last few months Candy hadn't greeted me when I'd opened the door as she was going a bit deaf (as well as blind) and didn't hear me come in. She was asleep in the dining room so I gave her a quick cuddle and left her alone. She did this often so I didn't think anything of it, until Bailey started to whine next to her. At 7PM Bailey lay down with her (which was nuts because Candy never tolerated Bailey and they never really got on fantastically) and cried. Cried and cried and cried. I started to panic I was checking Candy over but couldn't see anything wrong, she just seemed really off. I knew Jack would walk through the door at any moment and when he did I said that there was something wrong and I think we need to get her to a vet. We tried to get her to stand while I was on the phone to the emergency vets and she just collapsed on our dining room floor. Bailey was trying really hard to get her up, it was heart breaking. She was prodding at her and snuffling her nose into her side to try and get her to stand up. I was crying my eyes out at this point. I didn't want my dog to be sick, it's too hard to stomach and worry sets in. I thought to myself though, although she's old she's very happy in herself (as you can tell from the photo taken the same day). She managed to get up and she had a really big drink, which was when I noticed she was dehydrated. While standing up I held her back end to support her. I looked at my hand and it was covered in a fluid and lots of blood, I knew it was bad and I had a feeling of what it could be but I kept saying no, that wouldn't happen to Candy, would it? I got my nan to pick us up and we rushed to the vets which was about half an hour away. Candy slept on my lap the whole way there which was VERY unlike her. She loved the car and she loved to look out the window. She couldn't even lift her head. Her beautiful glossy fluffy curly coat had gone dull and her eyes were fading

When we got to the practice we were realising that we may have to prepare for the worse and the tears came flooding right back. I didn't speak all the way there. The vet checked everything, thoroughly. She had peed on the floor when she walked in, she hates the vets. They took a urine sample from that. She was salivating everywhere too. She told me she was dehydrated, nauseous and her temperature was sky high. We were told what we were fearing, she had pyometra. I burst into tears, again. She was an old dog when we got her and was never neutered, I couldn't do it at 10+ years old because I knew there would be such a huge risk putting her under. It was in its last stages. She had hidden it for a long long time. Her uterus had ruptured and she was very sick. It was poisoning her. She explained the options we had. We could have her put through surgery, which she told us more details about and the costs etc. which wasn't an issue, it had already cost us a fortune up to this point as she was too old to insure when we had her so money wasn't a factor. I didn't care how much it would cost as long as it made my dog better. She told us that Candy needed to be admitted right away as she was too sick to go home. She warned us that she may not make it to theatre, may not make it through the surgery and may not make it through the recovery. If she did, she wouldn't be a very well dog and she may not have a good quality of life. This is where the second option came in, which I was anticipating and didn't want to hear. The kinder and more humane option. Euthanasia. I had made my mind up already when she was telling me about the surgery, but she left me and Jack to talk among ourselves. We cried and cried and cried, giving Candy as much love as humanly possible. The vet came back in and we told her that we would have to have her PTS, we couldn't possibly put her through pain and misery for our own personal gain when it isn't in her best interests. She took her away to catheterize her while we signed our forms, paid our bill (won't state the price but out of hours becomes VERY expensive) and chose what we would like to do with her body. We wanted a private cremation so we could keep her ashes. We chose a beautiful little cask to put her in, with a plaque. Choosing all of this while our dog was in the next room was soul crushing. She came back in, looking fearful. She lay down with her head on Jack's lap and he held her, I held her from the side. She asked if we were ready and we said we have to be. She started to administer the anaesthetic and Jack was talking to her the whole time because I was such a mess and couldn't get my words out. He told her there will be plenty of balls to fetch and sticks to find where she was going, she still pricked her ears up at the words. Then that was it. Like a light she was out. Gone. Our amazing dog was gone. We both lay with her on the floor balling our eyes out and the vet asked if we wanted longer with her, to which we said no. Not because we are heartless, but because we didn't want to remember her like that. I personally can't get the image out of my head

We are expected to have her ashes back in about a fortnight

Here's some photos of her















I got her at almost 10 years old. I know it's only been 2 years and I know I should have prepared for the worst but it's still come as such a big shock. I feel like the earth has been pulled from under my feet. I got her 6 months after I lost my border collie of 18 years, Shep, to help me heal. She's been more than I could have ever asked for and I'm never going to get another like her. She was kind, empathetic, beautiful, gentle and wise. Such a clever girl. She was the light in our lives and she affected everybody around her, everybody loved her, whether it be over the internet or in person. She came everywhere with me, I travelled a lot with her and took her on busses, she was always the topic of conversation. Everybody used to think we were odd for loving our dogs no less than we would love children but I didn't care, they are still such a HUGE part of the family and anybody who wants to tell me otherwise can have my size 7 docs somewhere where the sun don't shine

PLEASE spay your bitches. It is an awful thing to go through and if left untreated, like Candy, dogs will die of septic shock. She didn't show any obvious symptoms up until that last day, right at the end. I explained this to the vet and like our birds, other animals will hide an illness right up until the end. It DOES happen. I always think these things will never happen to me, nothing but horror stories over the internet, but they DO happen. I've had to deal with avian diseases and gas leaks that have killed my birds, never in a million years did I think that would happen

I just wanted somebody to tell, so I hope you all understand



Miss you girl

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 07:36 AM


 
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Oh Daisy I am so so very sorry. I remember when you got Candy and how sweet a dog she was right from the start. 12 years is a long life for a dog but it seems to go by in a flash! My best dog was a lab border collie cross and was 12 when I had to make that same choice.. It feels like such a betrayal, however it is the kindest most loving thing you can ever do for your baby. My girl has been gone for 14 years now and I still remember her with all the love I had for her. Candy s last 2 years were 2 of the best years of her life!! I agree, spay and neuter your dogs... For their sake! Rip Candy girl.
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 11:26 AM



 
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I'm sorry for your loss of Candy, her pictures show such beauty and personality.






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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 12:09 PM Thread Starter



 
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Originally Posted by ParrotletsRock View Post
Oh Daisy I am so so very sorry. I remember when you got Candy and how sweet a dog she was right from the start. 12 years is a long life for a dog but it seems to go by in a flash! My best dog was a lab border collie cross and was 12 when I had to make that same choice.. It feels like such a betrayal, however it is the kindest most loving thing you can ever do for your baby. My girl has been gone for 14 years now and I still remember her with all the love I had for her. Candy s last 2 years were 2 of the best years of her life!! I agree, spay and neuter your dogs... For their sake! Rip Candy girl.
Thanks so much. I'm sorry you had to go through making that choice. A friend of mine recently lost her cat as he was hit by a car and survived long enough for them to have him euthanised. She said it was like she had killed him herself and until she came to terms with the fact that she had helped him, not killed her, she couldn't see straight. That helped me a lot because I couldn't find a way to put it into words. You've just said something on that level too, betrayal. That's what I'm feeling I think. I felt like I gave up on her but if I even thought she had a shot at living a happy healthy life after I'd of moved the earth. Two years have whizzed by, it's gone too fast

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 12:10 PM Thread Starter



 
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I'm sorry for your loss of Candy, her pictures show such beauty and personality.

Thank you. She was full of personality. Such a unique individual

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 02:57 PM


 
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I am sorry for the loss of your lovely dog and for the difficult decision you had to make. I used to work at a vet's and sometimes euthanasia is the kindest option, but some people wouldn't let go. It was brave and selfless of you to put Candy's quality of life first.

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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 03:34 PM



 
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I am sorry for the loss of your lovely dog and for the difficult decision you had to make. I used to work at a vet's and sometimes euthanasia is the kindest option, but some people wouldn't let go. It was brave and selfless of you to put Candy's quality of life first.

Very well put Anna.





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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 04:11 PM


 
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Daisy I am so sorry. I really just have no words. I feel like I have lost one of my own right now. You did the right thing by Candy. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-03-2015, 05:27 PM


 
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Thanks so much. I'm sorry you had to go through making that choice. A friend of mine recently lost her cat as he was hit by a car and survived long enough for them to have him euthanised. She said it was like she had killed him herself and until she came to terms with the fact that she had helped him, not killed her, she couldn't see straight. That helped me a lot because I couldn't find a way to put it into words. You've just said something on that level too, betrayal. That's what I'm feeling I think. I felt like I gave up on her but if I even thought she had a shot at living a happy healthy life after I'd of moved the earth. Two years have whizzed by, it's gone too fast
Oh yes I felt so guilty, I felt like I had betrayed her... She had lympho sarcoma and I chose not to treat it I euthanized her when she got too sick... Some one asked me later that day what was wrong, you look like you just lost your best friend... I answered with no, I just killed her... Like your friend it took me a while to accept it was a kindness I gave her freedom all I took from her was suffering and pain... In my head I knew it was the right and kindest thing... In my heart however I had a much harder time with it. Candy knows you love her, she would thank you for taking the pain and sickness away. She will be waiting for you over rainbow bridge with all your other feathered, furry and scaly kids!
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 02:35 AM Thread Starter



 
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Originally Posted by wyrinth View Post
I am sorry for the loss of your lovely dog and for the difficult decision you had to make. I used to work at a vet's and sometimes euthanasia is the kindest option, but some people wouldn't let go. It was brave and selfless of you to put Candy's quality of life first.
Thank you. Everybody has said we've been brave, especially sitting with her while it was done. I used to work at a vets and some people would force animals into chemotherapy and things and I couldn't bare to see them deteriorate like that. I feel like they were clutching on for their own gain and it isn't fair

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Daisy I am so sorry. I really just have no words. I feel like I have lost one of my own right now. You did the right thing by Candy. Sending lots of love and hugs.
Thank you. Sorry if I've made you feel rubbish

- Alexandrine parakeets Holly, George, Koda & - Crimson rosella Kasumi Orange winged Amazon parrot Paulie
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 02:40 AM Thread Starter



 
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Oh yes I felt so guilty, I felt like I had betrayed her... She had lympho sarcoma and I chose not to treat it I euthanized her when she got too sick... Some one asked me later that day what was wrong, you look like you just lost your best friend... I answered with no, I just killed her... Like your friend it took me a while to accept it was a kindness I gave her freedom all I took from her was suffering and pain... In my head I knew it was the right and kindest thing... In my heart however I had a much harder time with it. Candy knows you love her, she would thank you for taking the pain and sickness away. She will be waiting for you over rainbow bridge with all your other feathered, furry and scaly kids!
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I do think you did the right thing though, as I just said above, I've seen animals go through chemo and clutch on to what little life they have because their owners are too afraid to let go and it's absolutely heartbreaking. I would rather end their suffering than prolong it. That's the same as me too. Working in a vets and now dealing with a lot of loss I KNEW it had to be done but my heart was breaking because I didn't want to say goodbye, especially not so suddenly. I haven't worn make up in a week since she died, which isn't like me at all. Make up is a big passion. However, I keep crying still and it hasn't gotten any easier so I end up with it smeared around my face every time I try to apply it. I'm going out tomorrow night and I hope I'll be okay there. Isn't it funny though. I'm completely hardcore atheist and yet I even said this to Jack, I hope there's somewhere where dogs and other animals go because they deserve it and it's comforting for me to know that. He looked at me so startled because he couldn't believe I'd say anything like that. I really hope there is though, they DO deserve it

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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 03:33 AM
 
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Yes, I've been there Daisy... No more animals, when The 3 birds are gone/ or Im gone.. That's it..The last loss of Sooty at 10, Then Squeaky, Then losing my wife at a young age.. Life can be hell sometimes!

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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 03:38 AM
 
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So sorry you lost your sweet beautiful Candy. They always take a piece of our hearts with them when they go.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 12:54 PM


 
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Dear Daisy,
Candy is on her way to the other side of the rainbow bridge now.
There she will have no more pain.
You did everything you could. Candy was such an adorable dog.

My deceased mom once said that it is so hard for her seeing young people being so sad. I feel the same. I'm so sorry for Jack and you.
May the time help you to heal your pain.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 04:34 PM


 
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Oh Daisy you didn't make me feel like rubbish at all. Please don't be sorry about that.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-05-2015, 06:06 PM
 
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So sorry to hear about Candy I had a golden retriever I grew up with and he was my best friend, it was the saddest day of my life when we lost him in 2008 at 12 years old. I have 3 Pomeranians that live about 4 hours away with my mom and they are 9, 10 and 11, I worry about them getting older and just the normalcies of ageing pets. Candy was a gorgeous girl and I know will be greatly missed by everyone, even Bailey even though she didn't "love" him
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-06-2015, 09:26 AM
 
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Oh I am so sorry for your loss, I had to put my female cat down at the age of 15 when I had her from 5 months in February... I understand the pain of letting go. You really did the right thing and I hope your still taking care of yourself.

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-09-2015, 11:40 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I posted days ago but my tablet froze and my msg didn't get through.

I know your heart is aching now, in time you'll be left with those beautiful memories of love, joy and happiness she brought into your lives.

What a beautiful photo tribute. Hugs
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-12-2015, 10:49 AM Thread Starter



 
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Her ashes were returned to the vets sooner than anticipated but I went to collect them as soon as they had them on Tuesday. Here's some photos of what I had. I had a lovely 'gift' bag style bag to carry her home in, the cask was in a box (which is what that lovely bit of writing is on), a sympathy card with the dates on. I also of course had the cask with the plaque. She's on the fireplace next to some flowers and an incense burner. It's really beautiful. I'm so happy with everything. Everything was so well presented. The vets were amazing to me through everything too. When I went to collect them I burst in to tears when they bought the bag out for me and everybody was really supportive. There was even a lady outside with her dog who mentioned it to me and when I told her what happened she started to cry too and wished me well... It's been really hard. I'm still on and off crying now and I can't put the thoughts in to the back of my head. I just keep remembering that half an hour of hell we went through of getting there and suddenly having to make that decision. It was over in 30 minutes from when Jack got home and yet it feels like it lasted an eternity. Awful. Thanks for the support guys
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